Military and civilian employees of the National Security Agency/Central Security Service (NSA/CSS) gathered at the agency’s Memorial Wall on September 11, 2015 – Patriot Day – to collectively recite the Oath of Office, reaffirming their commitment to the Constitution and to the safety, security, and liberty of the American people.

No. This is not the opening sentence of an Onion article. This actually happened.

In real life.

Maybe it was opposite day.

It’s tempting to call this staged event Orwellian. It reeks of doublespeak. But this is really too ridiculously transparent and silly to even qualify. It is an insult to doublespeak.

Seriously, look up “implausible” in the dictionary and you will find the words “NSA agents safeguarding the Constitution and liberty.”

Here is a photo of all of the NSA employees who are faithful to the Constitution standing on the beach.

OK. Perhaps I’m being too harsh.It could have been an honest mistake, Maybe the pocket Constitutions they pass out to NSA employees don’t include the Bill of Rights. Or maybe the Fourth Amendment got all blurred because of some kind of ink smear. It could have been a printing mistake or something.

I mean, how else do you explain a bunch of people who violate the Constitution on a daily basis as part of their everyday duties marching out in public to reaffirm an oath to it?

Of course, the more likely explanation is that they are a bunch of liars.

Actually, this goofy, Onionesque NSA publicity stunt shouldn’t surprise anybody. The agency has a long history of telling whoppers with a straight face. Remember when Sen. Ron Wyden asked Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, “Does the NSA collect any type of data at all on millions or hundreds of millions of Americans?”

“No, sir! There are cases where they could inadvertently, perhaps, collect, but not wittingly.”


Or how about when NSA deputy director Richard Ledgett said James Madison “would be proud” of the way the NSA operates.


How about in January 2013 when Pres. Obama swore  speech that the agency doesn’t spy on “ordinary people,” and that surveillance only targets suspected terrorists and criminals.


So really, a staged event on 9/11 (something the vaunted NSA failed to anticipate) featuring NSA employees “reaffirming” their commitment to the Constitution is just modus operandi.

Weaving a web of lies. Of course, that wouldn’t make for much of a press release.


Mike Maharrey

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